It is so easy to look around at every one else and get cranky about how their life looks so perfect. I want to immediately point out that you more than likely seeing an illusion. You see what you want to see or what they want you to see. Our society takes so much for granted and we struggle to find contentment in anything. I really learned how true this is after coming back from Haiti this past September. In the airport on my flight back from Florida to Tennessee, I heard grumbling about the wait time or how they didn’t like choosing their own seat with Southwest or how people were standing out of order to board the plane. Wah, Wah, Wah. Really?!
When I was married to my first husband, I remember neighbors telling me about my perfect life and husband, how great my life was to them. Behind my polite smile and head nod was a screaming voice saying, “Are you kidding me?! My life is hell. I’m trapped in a prison of my own making. If only….” I do want to point out that my first husband was a good man and a great father. We just never had any business being married to each other, not even in a parallel universe, not in any universe….ever. I was so unhappy though and couldn’t understand why another unhappy person thought that I was living the high life. Is it possible that you too have had that conversation with someone?
I would like to pose a theory as to why I believe some of us get the “perfect life” right off the bat and the rest of us are still waiting. There are a few reasons that we may not have the “perfect life”. We made choices early on that led to consequences that we may be dealing with for the long haul. Those consequences have altered our journey and require some detouring before we can get back on track. It is also possible we are living so far off of our paths we wouldn’t recognize it if it broadsided us. Selfishness, self-centeredness is blinding. We only see our own wants and desires and seek them at all costs. We are out of alignment with God, pursuing everything but Him. And nothing in our lives will ever be perfect without Him at the center. I don’t care what faith you believe or where you are in your walk – the truth is the truth.
Ehhem… I digressed from the theory, sorry. My theory is that our egg will hatch when it is darn good and ready. Some of us require more work than others. More time to develop in experience and wisdom. We are all provided with unique challenges in life. No one gets off without challenges no matter how shiny their worlds seem. In yesterday’s blog, I mentioned that I am 38 single, divorced with two teenagers. I tried to crack through my egg…true. But, it wasn’t time until this past year. See if I hadn’t marinated in that egg till I was ready to fulfill my purpose, I wouldn’t be able to offer my experience to others now.
Yes, I actually get excited now about my foolishly, junky, messy, painful adult life that I’ve lead up until 2011. Why? Because I can take that beautiful mess of twenty years and share it with you. Share it with someone who needs help and is hurting and watch their lives change. It makes sense! Jennifer Kelchner would have been totally useless to the world if I’d had the “perfect life” starting at 18. And, I don’t like being useless.
For those that have led a “perfect life” until now I say this – you will probably be facing a daunting, painful challenge soon. No one escapes living life – a real life. Real life is gritty and scratches you up. Real life grows you and stretches you to new heights. But, don’t freak out on me. Get grounded. Storms are a part of life and having the right Anchor (faith) will keep you steady during the storm. And, you too will have something to now pay forward to change another. (In my head I hear the “Circle of Life” starting to play in the background.) And, moving on….
So it’s decision time. Time for another choice. You can look at your beautiful mess and say you aren’t happy with your life. You can choose to do something about it. You can choose to forgive those who have hurt you. You can choose to forgive yourself. You can choose to wrap yourself in love and grace and then wrap others in the same blanket. You can choose to stop being a victim. You can choose to reprioritize your life. You can choose new friends. You can choose to live healthier. You can be content and grateful. You can choose to reconnect with your family, your children, your spouse. You can choose anything in life you want. You are what is holding you back from any change. YOU!
The best way to start living on the way to your perfect life is this: Stop staring at your egg. Waiting for it to hatch is like watching paint peel or water boil or grass grow. Shift your focus to serving others. Change will happen for the better. Next thing you know, you are living your perfect life!
Tomorrow we look at why you have never been normal and shouldn’t settle for normal.