Your Train Hasn’t Gotten to the Station Yet!

I woke up from a dream this morning in which I was married to my perfect man.  I never did see his face but the emotions sure felt real.  Don’t you just love dreams….ahhhh.   If you are a guy, stick with me it gets better.  As the sun poured into my eyes, I groggily recalled that it was a just a dream.  Oddly, my next thought was of my pastor in Kansas City, Clint Sprague of Life Church in Olathe, KS.  I thought of how nauseating it was to listen to him speak beautiful things of his wife and how they’d been together since they were young.  It always depressed me how some people just get it right the first go round.  Now, I have nothing against either of them and actually am excited for the day when I have someone who treats me with the kind of love that Clint shows Mary.  I just use it as an example because I know there are a lot of us who have had really, really long whining sessions about how unfair it is that we don’t have that kind of love when others do.  We’ve even gone so far as to say out loud that apparently we don’t deserve it, aren’t good enough, have missed the chance at love.  We degrade ourselves as unworthy, unlovable or perhaps even just too old.

 While those have been my words too, I would like to present another perspective.  The perspective is that we haven’t missed our train at the Station of Life.  Now, as we move forward over the next week breaking this subject down don’t just think about love.  The “love dream” was just a spark of understanding for me personally.  Think about all of the situations present, or not present, in your life.

 I’m a really old (in my soul) 38 year old single, divorced woman.  I would like to add that I’m really young at heart and hopeful I don’t look 38.  I’ve been married twice and have two teenage sons.  I have made a ridiculous number of poor choices in my life that have led me to the place I am at today.  Which so we are clear I absolutely love the place in life that I now enjoy.  So no regrets!!  As a hopeless romantic since I was about oh say 5 years old, I always imagined I would have married my “soul mate” as a young woman and would still be madly in love with that person as we progress to the proverbial “rocking chairs on the porch” phase.  Alas, I’m 38 and there are zero prospects on my horizon…that I can see with my human eyes anyway.

 For a long time, I’ve been bitter about it and angry with myself that I tried to force the scenario to happen just because I didn’t want to wait for the right timing that was already planned for me. I’m not a big fan of waiting. Totally annoys me.  When I want something, I’m ready for it to happen. Like, yesterday.  Sound familiar?  In our next blog, I’ll talk more about why others get the “perfect life” right away and others of us don’t.  But, for now I want to wrap up this one thing….why you didn’t miss your train.

 There is this amazing thing called forgiveness.  A big do-over called grace.  Think of it as a giant red button labeled “restart”.  In transparency here, I’ll say that some days I hit the big red button nearly every hour.  No matter how foolish your decisions were in the past (like mine) that caused me to set off on another path, you can accept this big gift of grace and start over.  It means that I’m not unlovable, too old, too broken, too dirty, too ________, but I am new, fresh, restored, youthful in spirit, and have a whole new life to lead.  So, wait for your new train to roll into the station. Be patient because stepping out of time will cause you to miss something greater than that which was planned for you.

 Shifting your perspective on relationships, career, finding purpose, your lifestyle can bring you a renewed sense of excitement too.  Just think about it.  The best is yet to come!  You just have to make that choice.  We are promised more than we can ask or imagine.  If we believe that truth, then why look back to the past which you can’t change and just throw in the towel?  Why not make a choice to look forward to the beautiful unknown?  You may not see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet but know that your train is on its way. And, it is so worth the wait because it will better than you could ever have imagined.

This blog is part of a series that will span about 7 segments. I plan on being very transparent with my own situations, thoughts and private feelings.  The series , “For Such a Time as This”, is my understanding and perspective I feel I really need to share with others. It has lessons learned from the story of Esther, which you can read about in the Book of Esther.  Esther’s situation was not her plan in life, it seemed like she had missed her chance to fulfill her own dreams due to outside circumstances, rose to the challenge of her purpose, risked her own life, in the process saved a nation, and rose to greatness.

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