What you need to understand about how deep sexual inappropriateness is towards women

What you need to understand about how deep sexual inappropriateness is towards women

It is a pervasive, systemic illness in our culture around abuse and sexual violence. BUT…here’s what you need to know about why people don’t come forward and just how broad/deep these instances can be.

I’m going to share a bit about my own history with sexual violence, abuses and inappropriateness. And, why I’ve stayed quiet for so many years. It is important for others to hear there is a way out and to heal. We got you sister (& brothers). You can find safe places to unpack your feelings and heal so you don’t have to carry it every day. No more.

If you would like to share your stories (without details) below, please do. We, the collective, stand with you! <3

What Happens After You Experience An Epic Career Failure?

What Happens After You Experience An Epic Career Failure?

Epic Career Failure or Letdown? What do you do next?

I think I’ve finally come to accept that I’m in a perpetual state of transition. Not only am I realizing it is just part of being Jen, but it is what makes me great at what I do. For the longest time I attributed my transitions to my less than stellar relationship choices as an adult. What I am realizing is it is part of someone who is actively living and participating in life.

My Public Jump

At the beginning of 2016, I decided to ramp down my business to pursue an opportunity that felt right to me. My soul latched on to it and I began to do my due diligence. It checked out. I did the required relationship building just to make sure. And then…I jumped.

I publicly announced my decision to join a start-up and move 2000 miles away from home to settle in Los Angeles. I was excited, a little proud even and ready to immerse into a whole new way of life. Four weeks after I landed on the ground and hosted a big event, I found myself separating from the company.

Gulp.

Taking Risks

The thing is, I take risk. Not in a “move the table outside at a restaurant” kind of risk, but rather the “it’s time for a good change and this could be awesome” kind of risk. I’ve been moving my whole life so to uproot and go again wasn’t a big deal. So I don’t know anyone in California, so what.

Sometimes life is asking you to take the risk. To be bold. To get up and move. To do things that might leave you feeling like you got your pants dropped in public.

Part of it is my personality makeup. I’m a classic ENFJ and Idealist. Top that with being a super bold Leo and you can see the recipe of the characteristics I work with daily. Frankly, I scare the crap out of my entire family. I go big or I don’t go at all.

How Do I Deal With It?

Before I break down your lesson of the day here, let me wrap up my story. I’ve had far worse and even more embarrassing things happen to me in my life. I’m still here and better for each and every mishap. My intuition is still strongly telling me there is greater purpose for me being here and the “epic fail” was really my stepping stone.

Great things really are around the corner.

Here’s what you need to know when you go big for something and it doesn’t work out exactly as planned.

Sometimes things just don’t work out. There are always other variables and factors that pop up that are outside of your control — or your best judgement before you jump in the situation.

You’ve likely been through worse and know that you will survive this too.

Don’t panic. Look for what good comes out of your situation and learn from it.

Be grateful that you were bold enough to get up off the couch and go for it! Most – I don’t have a number here but seriously like hardly anyone – don’t ever get enough courage to jump.  You’re in great company if you do!

Failure is not a cool word. Reframe how you think about it and realize that it is learning what doesn’t work for you or isn’t right for you.

Regroup. Get clarity and get moving again. The world needs you.

 

The fact of the matter here is this. Nothing about me has changed except I’ve grown and learned some new stuff in the last few months. So when you experience a letdown (privately or publicly) remember that you’ve grown and learned something new too. Don’t let it cause you to stall and miss your next big growth opportunity!

How To Work With Jen 

I feel a kinship to Thomas Edison regarding his famous quote:

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. – Thomas Edison

 

Don’t forget to share this post and leave comments below!

 

10 Essential Things To Create A Breakthrough In Your Life Or Business

10 Essential Things To Create A Breakthrough In Your Life Or Business

“I’m waiting for my breakthrough…”

This is in the Top Three list of phrases I hear the most from others. I would argue that our breakthrough is waiting for us to be ready for it!

In order to welcome in something new, you need to make some adjustments to what you currently are doing.

Here is a 20 minute video training on the 10 essential areas you need to prepare to get your breakthrough in life or business.

The 10 Essentials

REST

Take the time to find space and recharge. Naps are always great! But, rest is about taking the time to find some peace and reconnect with you.

STRETCH YOURSELF & PRESS IN

Get out of your box! Press in to what is coming with anticipation. Your comfort zone will never accommodate a breakthrough.

OPEN YOUR MIND & CHANGE PERSPECTIVES

You must stop doing what you normally do. Get fresh insight. Look for a new viewpoint and open your mind so that you can find clarity and see in new ways.

LISTEN & BE COACHABLE

Be open to new insight and feedback from others. Remaining coachable will lead to success.

DO SOMETHING CREATIVE

Read a good book. Create art or music. Go on an adventure and explore. You’ll gain fresh perspectives and feel recharged!

STOP TRYING TO FIT IN

Again, you are wanting to create and experience something new. Stay in alignment with who you are so that you experience a real change.

RELEASE THE HYPE

Let go of the dogma and boundaries that may be holding you back from moving forward. Let go of finite set of perceptions so you can expand your borders. Create places of hope and release the negatives.

CLEAN HOUSE & CHANGE PLAYGROUNDS

Some folks in our circles are only intended for a season. Take a look at who you surround yourself and identify if anyone is limiting you from moving into the next phase of your journey.

GET OUT OF YOUR RUTS

[Tweet “A rut is a coffin with the ends kicked out. “]

Change how and what you do. You can’t create a space for a breakthrough if you are stuck in your habits. The way you’ve always done it isn’t working. Time for a change!

MEET YOURSELF WHERE YOU ARE TODAY

Let go of the expectations you currently hold that tell you you should be further down the road or doing something differently. It is a journey. It will never look like you think it should look. Meet yourself where you are today!

 

Your takeaway here is to stop your “doing” and start the “being”. Be you and implement the essentials. You will begin to see things shift rapidly and that breakthrough will show up!

Which of these areas has been a game changer for you?

Share with us your breakthrough stories!

I welcome your comments and want your feedback! Please leave me some below here!

Why Your Story Matters In Your Business and Leadership

We all have a story.

It is your message and one tool to grow your influence.

People need to relate to us in a transparent and vulnerable way. However, we need to choose what is shared.

Watch this video below on how to create the right environment and why it will increase your influence.

Those around you need to hear your story – even in business! It can serve others and create a place of trust with your clients and followers.

It is about connecting and leveraging emotional intelligence to be relatable, trustworthy, and empathetic to your clients. Being in business doesn’t separate you from being who you are.

Utilize your emotional intelligence to serve others and grow your business, too!

Remember no one can argue with your story. You’ve lived it!

I want to hear your comments of how using your story improved your business or relationships.

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JEN KELCHNER FORBES COACHES COUNCIL _ EXEC BUSINESS COACH

One Secret To Control Your Fear of Failure

One Secret To Control Your Fear of Failure

Create a visual tool for your mind’s eye and see how quickly your perspective on failure shifts.

The struggle with the fear of failure (and success) is a real thing. And, you are not alone in it.

But, let’s understand that there is a difference with a real, rational fear and the fear that lies to us.  If your life is in danger, then yes it is a credible, legitimate fear. Don’t do it.

These “fears” are disbeliefs and assumptions we have made over the years that are controlling us from success – or simple enjoyment of life. They are not founded in truths. They cripple us from doing great things.

We need to change the way we think. One of the tools I use with creating sustainable mindset shifts is to create a visual tool for my minds eye. This way we can manage the uncertainty and the fear so we can move towards our end goal.

Watch this video now to learn how to control the fear.

Remember, failure is learning what is not right for you and leads you to be in alignment with yourself.

Quick review:

Create a visual tool for your minds eye, or use mine.

When you have a misstep (or a really bad day when you forget yourself), pick up and move forward.

Take-away what you can do differently and apply it.

Recalculate (as often as you need to) to get back on track.

Leverage the lessons learned.

Please leave your comments for me below. I’d love to hear your input and if you have a “tool” that helps you manage the fear of failure when it comes knocking!

 

How-To Turn Your Ordinary Conversations Into High-Gain Ones That Produce Value

How-To Turn Your Ordinary Conversations Into High-Gain Ones That Produce Value

As Leaders, Managers, Coaches, Mentors and Team Leaders, it is our responsibility to lead conversations of value. One of the ways we can do this is by using high-gain questions to produce more value-add for everyone involved.

Using high-gain questions in our conversations conveys respect, shows that we value opinions, and they value connection. Our conversations should not be one-way streets that lead no where. Engage those around you. Ask them to create and contribute. You’ll see your relationships deepen, morale improve, and productivity and performance increase.

 

Watch The Training Below Now

The Three Types of Questions

  • close-ended questions – producing a yes or no response
  • open-ended questions – producing more thought
  • high-gain questions – producing value, respect, & connection

The Three Types of High-Gain Questions

  • investigative – fact finding questions
  • discovery – push learning
  • empowering – transfer ownership and call for action

Your goal here is to add-value, create a deeper level of influence, increase your leadership game, and elevate your business through the use of high-gain questions.

Don’t forget to download your handout with sample questions that I’ve provided for you.

Please leave comments below and let me know how high-gain questions have worked to improve your productivity and team performance.

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Why Everyone In Community Is A Teacher

Why Everyone In Community Is A Teacher

I’ve had several online conversations this morning that have led me to a new revelation. Everyone in community is a teacher.

Community. It likely means something different to each person who reads the word. I would say it is the people we are in relationship with – those we do life with – and this can be in business, strangers you encounter at the store, or your group of besties.

Here is the reason for my theory.

I’ve been coaching and developing people for the last decade. I teach or instruct others by guiding and encouraging them with transformative methodologies. Mostly, my work is based on the knowledge I’ve aquired through my own experience. But let me be very clear, I don’t have it all worked out yet. Not even close.

Life is a journey. And, even as we become more equipped and empowered we still have a journey to take. We hit high points, we encounter low points. We plateau. It’s this beautiful way the Universe teaches us how-to adjust, dig in for more of life, and have the capacity to do so.

Here is my point – as I’m walking out life making adjustments and equipping people to do the same, I find that they teach me new perspectives and often are the reminders I need in my own life.

What? You think an expert has it all figured out?! No. In fact, if they tell you they do just run!

If we stop to learn from our conversations and interactions, I believe every person we encounter in community can foster our growth. Therefore, everyone can teach us something vital to our survival.

Take the time to listen, to be engaged, to be active in your encounters.

Be open to the nuggets of gold an interaction has for you personally.

Never be stingy with your love and empathy.

And never ever ever, discount what another human can show you about the world or yourself.

We can all be Agents of Change. All teachers and all students. All encouragers.

So who can you begin to learn from? Get out of your own head and engage with the world around you. It will be an eye opener, a perspective shift, and an accelerator to your growth and success.

The beautiful thing about community is that there is always someone who has gone before you to give you a hand. And, there is always someone looking to you to extend the hand for them. We are never alone in community.

Live boldly. Love greatly.

Stop. Collaborate and Listen.

Stop. Collaborate and Listen.

What is this season telling you?

It is one of the loveliest times of year right now. Fall. Certainly one of my favorite seasons because of the colors and the cooler air.

We all experience seasons in our lives. Sometimes the seasons rage like an unyielding winter – deep, dark and cold. Others seem to fly by too quickly like a short spring launching into a hot summer.

But, what is your season telling you? Are you listening?

If you are enduring this current season, then you are doing it all wrong.

Every season or phase or whatever you want to call it in our lives has purpose — if you look and listen. Begin by slowing your mind down and observing what is taking place right now. Then assess what that really means to you – what is the truth of your discovery.

Let’s shift perspectives for a minute and reshape your season.

My season says that I am:

Stading Still. > Are you being stubborn and refusing to open yourself to growth? Or, perhaps you need this time of peace and rest so that you can find clarity for the next step coming.

Scooby-dooing. > Folks love to run in place. If I look busy enough, maybe you’ll think I’m doing okay. Stop. Slow down. Be still. Be open and stretch your horizons around you so you can grow into what is waiting for you on the other side of this season.

Being unproductive or unfocused. > How else are you spending your time? Are you avoiding something important because it is uncomfortable? Are you investing your time and energy into something that isn’t in your wheelhouse (genius zone)? Or, is it that you are giving time and energy into something that you’ve deemed as unproductive yet is perhaps creative and nourishing to your soul? You may just need to break out of a rut to find yourself!

Too busy. > I constantly battle my inner work-a-holic. But, let’s talk about busyness for the sake of just being busy. Busyness eats at your soul. It is a distraction that keeps you from enjoying life. You miss out on LIFE! Think Walking Dead….essentially, I’m calling you a zombie. Snap out of it and reengage with humanity.

Alone. > Determine if you are truly isolated or if you are lacking in connections. We are not designed to do life alone. As an introvert, you will need alone time but that isn’t what I mean here. If you are isolating yourself, be intentional about getting out more. Build relationships, bonds and deeper connections with people you trust and respect. Look for genuine, transparent and vulnerable places you can interact with others in. It isn’t as hard as you think….i.e. comment in this post and we will connect!

Happy and Content. > Yay! Enjoy this place of gratitude. Refresh yourself, renew and restore. Enjoy the building up of your spirit and energy.

Hopeful. > Hope. We should always have hope. This season is a beautiful one. One filled with light even in the darkness. Peace despite the storms. It is that never ending posture of knowing that every season ends to give birth to a new. All things work to good.

Remember too that you’ll need to separate out what you are HEARING about your season from what you are FEELING about your season. Two totally different things. Our feelings can be master manipulators and send us in the wrong direction frequently. You don’t have to [feel] agree with or like your season. You should however participate in what is growing inside of you and for you.

Lastly, a good friend of mine once said that when we are growing, learning and transitioning to new ways of thinking and being, that we will experience a seasonal storm. For instance here in Tennessee when Spring is trying its best to break through, Winter says oh no! We go from 70* days back down to 45*; flowers blooming to a sudden layer of ice; cool weather to tornadoes.

And, the same war wages within us. As you move through this season of your life you’ll experience a stormy transition as you let go of one phase to enter another. Participate with it by being self-aware.

Life is a mosaic of these seasons, people. Enjoy the beauty of them instead of focusing solely on a singular moment.

 

If you are struggling with a season or life transition, consider my 8-Week Transformation Bootcamp.

Want to talk further? Comment below!!

SHIFT HAPPENS: Spiritual Awakening In The Days To Come

SHIFT HAPPENS: Spiritual Awakening In The Days To Come

SHIFT HAPPENS!

A Spiritual Awakening Is Upon Us

I have felt barren for a while now when it comes to my writing and the depth of my message I want to convey. I have been exhausted, depleted, surviving on fumes. And then something happened this weekend that changed my view on so many things.

I had a shift. Not only did I experience this shift but about half a dozen of my inner circle experienced the same and/or similar shift. The revelations that fell upon our hearts and souls were the same.  That the time is now. The time to rise up, stand firm, and bring the spiritually hungry to the table to eat.

Yes, this is a departure from my typical blogs and well you might want to get used to it if you follow me. Deep within me I resonate with, “I can no longer be quiet.”. It is time to elevate our boldness.

The shift this weekend for me personally was that I’m moving into a new chapter in life and that the time has come for me to be more bold in sharing Truth with others.

The revelation that people are starving for an internal need they cannot name. A desire to belong, to know they are valued and accepted, to know that WHO they are is more than enough. It is hard wired into us to seek these things, yet we are so empty because we do not know the Truth. I believe that a time of awakening is upon us for those who are empty and hungry for something real. No more fluff. No more disbelief. No more masks and fake structures of what it “should be”.

We are awakening to a time where our souls and hearts will be open to the Truth. That Love does conquer all. That we desperately need more than our culture provides us, more than a side to choose, more than a book of rules and traditions, more than anything we can name available to us.

You may not be able to name that gnawing hunger inside of you right now. It growls and rumbles loudly. You have fed it food, alcohol, drugs, sex, activities, work, relationships…and, the damn thing will not be quiet. The temporary fuel you feed it is just that – a fleeting snack of filler.

You want to quiet it forever and be so full of life it never complains to you again? Seek the Truth. Seek to know Life. Be open to your own awakening.

It is time for you to know who you really are and that you are of great importance.

This isn’t about religion, denominations, politics, cultures, or any other label. The Truth is so simple….YOU ARE LOVED!  Your spiritual awakening is here.

 

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