ARE YOU JUST NOISE?
How we should be adding value to the lives of others
It has really been on my mind a lot lately how we (the general population) do not listen to others when they talk. And, worse we don’t add any value back into the lives of others when we speak. It’s a major problem in our relationships. This occurs not just in passing with acquaintances but in our friendships, families and significant relationships.
In fact, I’d argue that we don’t have relationships at all when we do this.
We are JUST NOISE in an already noisy world shouting for attention. How can we continue to live like this without being people who are engaged in our lives and those around us?
1. Be Quiet: quiet your own mind while you actually listen to someone speaking. Don’t think of your next sentence or the random squirrels in your head you want to go chase. LISTEN. ENGAGE. HEAR. It will enrich the life of the person you are listening to because you are showing that they matter in that moment.
2. Think First: it’s okay to pause briefly before responding. Filter what comes out so that it is kind and necessary. Make sure it adds value back to them with positive words or just a kind smile.
3. Engage: ask them about their life or day first. Hey, we all get lonely and have a need to share our moments with others. But, leading with YOU YOU YOU all of the time is a big turn off. Think of it like a tennis match. Serve the ball (your opener) and let them hit it back to you in which it will be your turn to share.
4. Add Value: don’t just be noise. We have enough noise in our world with everyone shouting for attention on their opinion on politics, religion or gloom and doom. Add value to the world when you speak. Find positive, kind words to share. No matter what your opinion there is a way to deliver it so that it still enriches the world. If we don’t speak and act with love and kindness, we are just noise. We can never create change and make a difference.
I think we all need the reminder sometimes to engage and speak good words to others. To genuinely listen and care when they speak. Instead of offering an empty void of noise in return.